Princess Bride

"A book?"

"That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it to you."
"Has it got any sports in it?"
"Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles..."
"Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try to stay awake."
"Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming."

You know the story...kids these days don't read, so when Grandpa (Falk) comes over he brings a treasured family book "The Princess Bride" to read to his ill grandson (Savage). Despite the protests from his grandson, the grandfather proceeds to narrate the rest of the film by reading the story.

While there is a lot going on, it is mostly a love story, but don't let that affect your opinion of the film. The story embodies and then parodies the epic hero films...you know the ones with the perfect hero and the flawless woman he loves, the villain who is scary/evil beyond all reason... Director Reiner and writer William Goldman (who also wrote the book) manage to make a film that anyone (regardless of age) can enjoy. Children are spellbound by the action and fascinating characters, while the comedy is more for the adults (kids probably won't get it all)...but on to the story...

Buttercup (Wright) loves Westley (Elwes), but their love must endure her kidnapping and marriage, and his death (she thinks he's dead, and then he actually does die). Buttercup is engaged to Prince Humperdinck (Sarandon): expert tracker and the villain. His sidekick is Count Rugen (Guest): the six-fingered man, has a passion for torture, and together they employ the Albino (Smith) to care for prisoners and work on "the machine". The Princess (Buttercup) is kidnapped by a group of criminals: Vizzini, Inigo, and Fezzick. Vizzini (Shawn) is the leader of the group, a self-proclaimed genius ("Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?... Morons") and likes to say "inconceivable!". Inigo (Patinkin) is a Spaniard who seeks justice for the death of his father ("Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die."), is handy with a sword. Fezzik (Andre the Giant) is a gentle giant who is the biggest and the strongest, but doesn't even exercise and is better at fighting groups than just one person. Also worth mentioning is the Clergyman (Cook) with a speech problem: "Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...", oft duplicated but never the same.

The funniest scene has to be Miracle Max...it took me awhile to figure out who the actors are under all that makeup...but they don't disappoint! Miracle Max (Crystal) was the miracle man for the king, but was fired by Humperdinck. Helping with his miracles is his nagging wife Valerie (Kane) who he thinks is a witch "I'm not a witch, I'm your wife". So many quotable lines, so little time... Totally worthwhile, and acceptable regardless of gender or age!

Dude, it's quotable: you can't tell me you've shouted "inconceivable" or gone back-and-forth with your friends with random lines from this film
Buy it: always a crowd pleaser

The Princess Bride (1987) 98 min
Rating: PG
Director: Rob Reiner
Starring: Cary Elwes as Westley
Mandy Patinkin as Inigo Montoya
Chris Sarandon as Prince Humperdinck
Christopher Guest as Count Tyrone Rugen
Wallace Shawn as Vizzini
Andre the Giant as Fezzik
Fred Savage as the Grandson
Robin Wright (Penn) as Buttercup
Peter Falk as the Grandfather/Narrator
Peter Cook as the Clergyman
Mel Smith as the Albino
Carol Kane as Valerie
Billy Crystal as Miracle Max

My Top Films (20)

I don't have a favorite film...I have several. Here are twenty of my favorite films, in no particular order...always recommendable, and the way to my heart

[* means I own this film...if there is a link, I've reviewed it]

*1. Blazing Saddles (Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder)
Mel Brooks, 1974
"Not only is it authentic frontier jibberish, but it shows a courage little seen in this day and age."

*2. The Princess Bride (Cary Elwes, Robin Wright Penn)
Rob Reiner, 1987
"You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen."

*3. Notorious (Ingrid Bergman, Cary Grant)
Alfred Hitchcock, 1946
"Wouldn't it be a little too much if we both grinned at her like idiots."

*4. McLintock (John Wayne, Maureen O'Hara)
Andrew V. McLaglen, 1963
"Hey MacLan, long time we no get drunk together"

*5. Alice in Wonderland (Kathryn Beaumont)
Disney animated, 1951
"I have an excellent idea, LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT."

*6. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (Spencer Tracy)
Stanley Kramer, 1963
"...exactly like your father: a big, stupid, muscle-headed moron!"

*7. The Magnificent Seven (Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen)
John Sturges (1960)
The old man was right. Only the farmers won. We lost. We always lose.

*8. Duck Soup (The Marx Brothers: Groucho, Chico, Harpo, Zeppo)
Leo McCarey, 1933
"Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honour, which is probably more than she ever did."

*9. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (Howard Keel, Jane Powell)
Stanley Donen, 1954
"There wasn't an 'F' name in the Bible, so they named him Frankincense, because he smelled so sweet."

*10. Serenity (Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres)
Joss Whedon, 2005
"I am a leaf on the wind - watch how I soar."

*11. Big Fish (Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney)
Tim Burton, 2003
"A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal."

*12. Casablanca (Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman)
Michael Curtiz, 1942
"Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca, and the Germans have outlawed miracles."

*13. Monty Python & the Holy Grail (Graham Chapman, John Cleese)
Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones, 1975
"Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who."

*14. A Shot in the Dark (Peter Sellers, Elke Sommers)
Blake Edwards, 1964
"You fool! You have broken my pointing stick! Now I have nothing to point with!"

*15. Singin' in the Rain (Gene Kelly, Donald O'Connor)
Stanley Donen & Gene Kelly, 1952
"What's wrong with the way I talk? What's the big idea? Am I dumb or something?"

*16. The Sound of Music (Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer)
Robert Wise, 1965
"I haven't had so much fun since the day we put glue on Fräulein Josephine's toothbrush."

*17. Little Miss Sunshine (Abigail Breslin, Greg Kinnear)
Jonathan Dayton & Valerie Faris, 2006
"There are two kinds of people in this world, winners and losers."

*18. The Muppet Movie (Jim Henson, Frank Oz)
James Frawley, 1979
"Ahh, a bear in his natural habitat - a Studebaker."

19. Dumb & Dumber (Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels)
Peter Farrelly, 1994
"Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!"

20. O Brother, Where Art Thou? (George Clooney, John Turturro)
Joel Coen, 2000
"You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers."

Blazing Saddles

"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons."

Whatever you think about the great American Western you must admit it is a genre ripe for parody... thankfully for all western fans Mel Brooks had just that idea when he made his second film (the first being The Producers). This is one of his BEST films, and the one that made him well-known...but I digress
This is a comedy western (so it's o.k. to laugh...if you don't, you're probably dead or don't have a sense of humor), parodying the western genre: the racisim, the blatant line between good and evil, etc.  Hedley Lamarr (Korman), not to be confused with actress Hedy Lamarr (it's a running joke) is the head of the railroad company. Due to quicksand his railroad has to move near the town of Rock Ridge, making the property values skyrocket. His orders his men, led by the incompetent Taggart (Pickens), to get rid of the town, but all they manage to do is piss off the local community (populated by the Johnson family...yes, another running joke). The citizens of Rock Ridge petition the moron governor (Brooks) for a new sheriff, but Hedley intervenes and decides to appoint a black sheriff to make the people so mad they will just leave. He appoints a former railroad worker,Bart (Little), saving him from being hung, and sends him to the unsuspecting town. Bart is joined by the town drunk Jim (Wilder), who used to be the fastest gunslinger: the Waco Kid. Not wanting anything to upset his plan, Hedley also seeks the help of Lili Von Shtupp (Kahn), the headliner at the local saloon, to love and leave the sheriff, but of course the plan backfires.

Speaking of backfiring, this film has the famous baked bean scene (you've probably seen it parodied, or heard about it)...along with other classic moments and characters. While some may see this film as racist, realize that the black characters are the intelligent ones...AND Brooks mocks every race, creed, gender, etc so no one is left out (including a few slams at the Jews, and he is Jewish). There is the trademark mockery of the Nazis...

Yes it's inappropriate. Yes it's politically incorrect. Yes it's tasteless (at times)...but you'll certainly enjoy the ride. Madeline Kahn channels Marlena Dietrich, and Harvey Korman drags the name Hedy Lamarr through the streets. Also, the character of Gabby Johnson (Jack Starrett) is based on the gibberish talking old man found in films like Rio Bravo and other westerns. You really have to pay attention to completely appreciate the humor (there are some subtle lines you miss the first few times you watch). John Wayne declined a role in this film, but said he'd be the first in line to see it...and if the Duke wanted to see it, you should too!!

Dude it's quotable: may not always be appropriate (especially out of context), but when you sit around with your friends later this is a great film to quote
Buy it!!: heck, that says it all. Everyone should own at least one Brooks film (I'd suggest The Producers, Blazing Saddles, or Young Frankenstein, or you could be like me and own all three!)

Blazing Saddles (1974) 93 min
Rating: R
Director: Mel Brooks
Starring: Cleavon Little as Bart
Gene Wilder as Jim (The Waco Kid)
Harvey Korman as Hedley Lamarr
Slim Pickens as Taggart
Mel Brooks as Gov William J. LePetomaine, the Indian Chief (and bit parts)
Madeline Kahn as Lili Von Shtupp

Hoodwinked!

"Sweet tea and cookies, we've got to do something!"

"I know. The song was catchty, but choreography was terrible."

When I first heard about this film I was stoked: a revamped version of Little Red Riding Hood, wow!! But when I checked the newspaper to find the showing times, and glanced at the reviews I was disappointed. I continued checking out reviews (online and in various newspapers) and discovered that most critics (the ones I tend to trust) were not impressed with this film...the animation was poor, it was dumb, etc. Last night I watched the DVD with my roommate and found myself enjoying it...

We all know the story of Little Red Riding Hood, and the notorious showdown in Granny's cottage... The film begins as Red enters Granny's cottage and speaks to the obviously fake granny (the wolf is wearing a Granny Halloween mask). Granny emerges from the closet tied up, and the Woodsman smashes through the window, swinging his ax. But this is not the fairytale you remember... The police soon arrive on the scene and slap handcuffs on all four: Granny (Close), Red (Hathaway), the Woodsman (Belushi), and the Wolf (Warburton). The police are searching for the Goody Bandit: steals the coveted recipes of all the local bakers, and believe the incident at the cottage is the last act of a desparate criminal, basically they believe the Goody Bandit is one of the four suspects. Chief Grizzly, yes he's a bear (Xzibit), is quick to place judgement and is about to leave with his criminal in hand, but is stopped by Inspector Nicky Flippers (Stiers), a long-legged frogg with a magnifying glass. The Inspector believes there is more going on than meets the eye and individually interviews each witness. Each of the suspects tells their story, with some interesting twists. To the public, Granny is the owner and maker of some of the best goodies in the forest, but in her private life she is an Xtreme Sports star (don't ask). Red is the delivery gal for Granny and is well-known in the forest (mostly b/c of her cape) and is ready & willing to kick some butt. The Wolf is a sarcastic undercover reporter and who is trying to find the Goody Bandit with his sidekick Twitchy (Edwards). And the Woodsman is actually a German actor who is a COMPLETE idiot.

At times the story drags (each character begins their story at the same place and a lot of it overlaps) and you wonder why you are watching, but then the minor characters are featured and you remember. The best scenes involve Japeth the Goat (Gaither) who sings everything (its a long story, but don't worry...he explains) and has horns for pretty much every occasion and purpose. Andy Dick is usually interesting to watch (not always funny...but watching him is an adventure) and he delivers as the cute bunny Boingo. Twitchy: the fast talking, camera wielding, hyper-active squirrel is also fascinating, but is very similar to the character of Hammy in Over the Hedge.

The film borrows from many other films (I can't name them all, but there are ALOT). That is probably one of my biggest problems with the film. It is entertaining BUT it isn't always original...and the animation isn't as good as other films (which does kinda work).
In conclusion this isn't a high-brow film (but you already knew that)...it is a dumb film, but thats why it's fun! Its an animated film with a great cast...and I think you might actually enjoy it! (And watch the music video for the song "Critters Have Feelings", it is classic)

Watch while doing homework: you might get distracted, but you weren't really doing work anyway...it is something you can tune out if you want, but there are enough zany antics to draw you back in
Rent it once: if you're bored, or feeling childish and you've seen all the other animated films available then check it out (but don't watch it alone...it's funnier when you can mock it with friends)

Hoodwinked! (2005) 80 min
Rating: PG for some mild action and thematic elements.
Director: Cory Edwards & Todd Edwards & Tony Leech
Starring:Anne Hathaway as Red
Glenn Close as Granny
Jim Belushi as The Woodsman
Patrick Warburton as The Wolf
David Ogden Stiers as Nicky Flippers
Xzibit as Chief Grizzly
Cory Edwards as Twitchy
Anthony Anderson as Detective Stork
Andy Dick as Boingo
Benji Gaither as Japeth the Goat

Oscar Picks

So i haven't seen all the films, or know who all the actors are...BUT everyone else is doing it (plus my class was canceled b/c of snow), so here it goes...

Best Supporting Actress
Adriana Barraza Babel
-Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal
-Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine
*-Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls
-Rinko Kikuchi, Babel

...Who will win...Since Jennifer Hudson won the Golden Globe, and the SAG Award for Supporting Actress I'm going to assume she'll get the Oscar as well...
...Who SHOULD win...I haven't seen Babel so I don't know if either actress deserves to win, but the fact that I haven't heard anything about them I'm going to assume they weren't GREAT. Cate Blanchett tends to impress me, not only with the roles she takes but they way she portrays them, and yet I have NO desire to see this film... I haven't seen Dreamgirls yet but Hudson has an excellent voice (and apparently can act). Honestly, I would love to see Abigail Breslin win. Not only is she adorable (in real life and in the film), her character of Olive goes through a range of emotions and just has this timing that adults just seem to miss.

Best Supporting Actor
*-Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine
-Jackie Earle Haley, Little Children
-Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond
-Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls
-Mark Wahlberg, The Departed

I would like to see Eddie Murphy OR Alan Arkin win. I haven't seen Dreamgirls yet, but I would like to see Murphy walk away with an Oscar...he's made some interesting films (and by interesting I mean.... O WHY EDDIE MURPHY...how could you?) but he's going against type and playing in a musical and I love that, so it seems like he's growing up or something (of course he's also in Norbit which looks like a waste of time...). He was good in SNL so he should try to pick better films to show that he can act, and perhaps an Oscar is the way to do so. I would also like to see Alan Arkin win. I loved Little Miss Sunshine, and he was one of the reasons. How many older actors would want to play a drug addict, f-bomb dropping, porn addicted grandfather who isn't even in the entire film? And despite all of that he is a sympathetic character who delivers funny lines and still makes you love him. I think it's a crime that Paul Dano from Little Miss Sunshine was not nominated...he is my favorite character in the film and even without talking for the first half of the film he is completely relateable, and when he does talk he is so insightful (but I digress)
I have absolutely NO desire to see a film about a pedophile, so Jackie Earle Haley is out. I haven't seen Blood Diamond so I'm going to rule out Djimon Hounsou... Mark Wahlberg is attractive and all that...and he is fascinating to watch in The Departed, but honestly I don't think he'll win (and I don't really want him to either).

Best Actress
-Penelope Cruz, Volver-Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal
*-Helen Mirren, The Queen
-Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada
-Kate Winslet, Little Children

Helen Mirren is going to win...end of discussion... (based on the previous award shows)
I honestly can't take Penelope Cruz seriously...apparently this is a better role than most she has received in Hollywood, but still I haven't seen this film so until I do I will just laugh that she is nominated for an Oscar. Judi Dench has a commanding presence, but I don't know if her role is strong enough to merit an Oscar (I haven't seen the film). Meryl Streep is AMAZING in The Devil Wears Prada, so if hell freezes over and Mirren doesn't win I would like to see Streep receive the Oscar. Kate Winslet...yeah, I'm thinking NO

Best Actor
Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond
Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson
Peter O'Toole, Venus
Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness
*Forest Whitaker, The Last King of ScotlandI haven't seen any of these films, but based on the actors involved I'm going to make my predictions...
Forest Whitaker will win...b/c he was on Oprah (and Oprah is like a god or something)
Leo...haha...no: he's pretty good in The Departed, BUT that isn't an option here... Ryan Gosling as an anti-hero sounds interesting, but probably isn't enough to give him the award. Peter O'Toole probably already has an Oscar. And Will Smith is in a sappy movie...where is the world going?? And what about Matt Damon? He was excellent in The Departed...not really a protagonist, but he is gooooood!

Best Director
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Babel
*Martin Scorsese, The Departed
Clint Eastwood, Letters From Iwo Jima
Stephen Frears, The Queen
Paul Greengrass, United 93

Either Clint Eastwood or Martin Scorsese will win. Everytime an Eastwood film is nominated it seems to win (Mystic River & Million Dollar Baby), thus he stands a good chance, but I'm not sure how good. Scorsese has been waiting for this for a looooooong time so I hope he gets it, but wouldn't be surprised if Eastwood sneaks it away...we shall see
According to my roommate Babel was great...and it won the Golden Globe, but I don't he's going to win. The Queen has also done well, but I honestly believe it's going to go to a BIG director and this is the first time I've heard of Frears... Greengrass: not a chance. 9/11 was too recent to be making films about it, no matter how good they are. I don' think it even has a chance.

Best Film
Babel
*The Departed
Letters From Iwo Jima
Little Miss Sunshine
The Queen

I HATE it when one film manages to completely sweep the award shows....like two years ago when Million Dollar Baby won pretty much everything...HOW BORING! Thus, I don't want Letters From Iwo Jima to win (b/c Eastwood has enough awards). If Scorsese wins for director then I'd rather not see his film win...just to keep it fair and balanced and crap. Plus they swear ALOT in that film...it should be interesting to see what clip they show, and how much they have to bleep. I LOVED Little Miss Sunshine, but since I've voted for the cast in everything else I'd rather not see it win...plus its a comedy, the rest of these are serious (and most likely depressing) films, so it's a fish-out-of-water. The Queen is British...we live in America...you do the math. And cinema is supposed to be an escape from reality...how is this an escape (it actually happened). Thus, by process of elimination Babel should win (plus it would make my roommate happy)

5 out of 6 (* signifies the actual winner)

The Departed

"When I was your age they used to say you could become cops or criminals. What I'm saying to you is this... When you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference? "

According to Martin Scorsese's latest film, The Departed, there is no difference between being a cop and being a criminal: they are all corrupt, have foul mouths, and are played by good actors. I must say I was surprised...I have seen four other Scorsese films but did not like them, they were well done but they are the kind of films you watch once and it takes awhile to recover from the emotion, violence, and language (I've seen "New York, New York", "Raging Bull", "Goodfellas", and "New York Stories: Life Lessons")...but I actually like this film. Yes its just as violent as the others...yes they swear ALOT (they drop the f-bomb 237 times and say the word 'cunt' 22 times, along with a slew of other colorful language), BUT this film has a storyline and you are mildly satisfied at the end (call it poetic justice)

The film follows the undercover actions of two men in opposite roles. First is Colin Sullivan (Damon): grew up doing small errands for Irish mob boss Frank Costello (Nicholson) and then enrolled in the Police Academy. After that his career skyrocketed (thanks to his 'father'...Nicholson...sending him tips) and he becomes a Detective for the Massachusetts State Police, working for Ellerby (Baldwin) the outspoken head of the department with an immaculate record. As he enjoys his career success he meets psychologist Madolyn (Farmiga) and they begin dating. Meanwhile, Billy Costigan (DiCaprio) is a ne'er-do-well from with quite the history of criminals, but he wants to turn over a new leaf and becomes a cop. After completing his training he is assigned to a special unit for the Masschusetts Police. This unit has undercover agents in different areas they want to bust. Only the head of the department, Queenan (Sheen) and his right-hand man Dignam (Wahlberg) know the identities of their undercover agents, and they want Costigan to go deep undercover working for mob boss Costello. They get him some jail time and when he is released things fall into place and he joins Costello's crew. Over time it is apparent to both sides of the law that they have a rat...and now it is up to their mole in opposite side to find the rat (basically Sullivan is trying to find Costigan for the mob, and Costigan wants to find Sullivan for the police).

This film is intense...but worthwhile if you can handle blood (and lots of it). The acting is superb: DiCaprio is believable as the reluctant mobster (he doesn't like all the killing), Damon pulls off the bad boy part, Wahlberg is...wow!, Nicholson IS the mob boss (and he is so dirty), etc. This all-star cast of attractive men prove why they are considered actors and all manage to blur the line between good and bad (who is the protagonist, and who is the antagonist?). And the supporting cast is also amazing... From a critical standpoint there is so much to talk about with this film, but I don't have enough time to indulge in that information (plus I would be giving away the ending)...so I would recommend it!

Dude, it's quotable: although you probably shouldn't repeat the lines (sometimes they are funny...but entirely unappropriate)
See it on the big screen: if you get the chance...it is intense, but worthwhile on a big screen...regardless it is excellent, but I would not suggest seeing it if you can't handle blood or language (b/c both are abundant)

The Departed (2006) 151 min
Rating: R for strong brutal violence, pervasive language, some strong sexual content and drug material.
Director: Martin Scorsese
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio as Billy Costigan
Matt Damon as Colin Sullivan
Jack Nicholson as Frank Costello
Mark Wahlberg as Dignam
Martin Sheen as Queenan
Alec Baldwin as Ellerby
Vera Farmiga as Madolyn

American Outlaws

"You tell anyone I said this... and I'll have to kill you cause everyone knows I'm the toughest man in this town, but you... are one terrifying son of a bitch with them guns."

I just watched this film with my roommate...we both enjoy the film and quote it randomly...and then I read reviews by other critics and was shocked at their responses to this film. No, it's not a high-brow film...and it's not great, but it is entertaining and the key to that entertainment is realizing that this film doesn't take itself seriously and neither should you!!

American Outlaws is an updated version of the Jesse James story. The film opens at the end of the Civil War. Jesse (Farrell) and company have spent the last few years fighting against the Union army, but now that the war is over they want to return to their family farms. Their desire for a normal life is interrupted by the rail road company owned by Thaddeus Rains (Yulin). After refusing the railroads low price for the farm they are targeted by Rains' men resulting in the death of their mother. Jesse and friends (who I will discuss later) decide to take on Rains and the rail road and begin robbing local banks who hold the rail roads money, and adopt the moniker the James Younger Gang("The Younger-James gang is confusing. If we bust into a bank and yell "Hey we're the Younger-James gang", people'll be thinging the YOUNGER-James gang? Is there an older James gang?")

Jesse is the charismatic leader of the group: with a winning smile, two guns, and . His rival, and cousin, is Cole (Caan): who was an excellent soldier but doesn't always think before acting, believes he should be the leader of the group. Standing between the two is Jesse's brother Frank (Macht): the scene stealing, Shakespeare quoting, conscience of the group. Also in the gang are Cole's brothers: Bob (McCormack) the goofy one, and Jim (Smith) the wannabe, along with Comanche Tom (Nathaniel Arcand) their Indian friend ("Some Indian tracker you turned out to be, Tom." "You wanted me to find you Bluecoats and there they are."), Loni (Joe Stevens) the dumb one, and Clell (Ty O'Neal) the strong silent one. Jesse's softer side (and the less interesting part of the film) comes across in the presence of Zee (Larter) the love of his life who speaks her mind, shoots a gun, and is handy with a cannon. Kathy Bates plays Ma James who speaks to the Lord, "The Lord says we can bury outback in the orchard. No one will ever find him", although she only appears in a few scenes. Also noteworthy is Allan Pinkerton (Dalton...doing a Sean Connery impression) the detective hired to find and stop the James Younger Gang in any way possible.

No, it's not the best western ever....but modern audiences don't want to see a western, especially when they could see action films that use CGI and futuristic settings... I wouldn't even call this film a western...yes they do look like cowboys, but it's an action film that happens to take place in the west (with people who dress, talk, and act like cowboys). This film is NOT historically accurate, but if it can prompt a desire to learn more about Jesse James (at least for teen boys) then perhaps it's worth it.

Dude, it's quotable: yes parts are corny, but there are some interesting one-liners
Rent it once: For the guys there is Ali Larter and lots of gun slinging, and for the ladies there are some attractive men.....it didn't get a lot of hype when it came out and it has pretty much been forgotten, but if you're in the mood for a few laughs (even if it means laughing AT the film as a whole then go for it) then give it a try

American Outlaws (2001) 94 min
Rating: PG-13 for western violence (gun fights, etc...)
Director: Les Mayfield
Starring: Colin Farrell as Jesse James
Scott Caan as Cole Younger
Ali Larter as Zee
Gabriel Macht as Frank James
Will McCormack as Bob Younger
Timothy Dalton as Allan Pinkerton
Harris Yulin as Thaddeus Rains
Gregory Smith as Jim Younger

Spaceballs

"So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

According to other reviews I've read (http://rogerebert.suntimes.com and www.dvdactive.com) consider this film the first in the decline of films by Mel Brooks...since he chose to parody one film instead of a genre (or in the case of Young Frankenstein, all the clones of the Frankenstein legend). Honestly I LOVE Mel Brooks films...well the early ones (The Producers, Blazing Saddles, and Young Frankenstein) but I must admit the later ones are just bad...I own Spaceballs and I do think it's funny, BUT not as funny as the ones I previously mentioned (even though it is MUCH better than his later films, such as his parodies of Robin Hood and Dracula)

Spaceballs is mostly a parody of the Star Wars films (Brooks even had special permission from George Lucas to make this film) but they do throw in bits of Star Trek and Alien (probably others but I didn't pick those references up)...The basic plot is the evil planet of Spaceballs has used up its supply of fresh air, so President Skroob (Brooks) enlists his minions to steal all the air from the planet Druidia. Meanwhile the princess of Druidia, Princess Vespa (Zuniga) and her loyal robot Dot Matrix (Rivers) decide to run away from a loveless marriage (actually she runs during her wedding ceremony) and is chased by Dark Helmet (Moranis) who was sent to kidnap the princess. Her father, King Roland (Van Patten) sends Lone Starr (Pullman) and his sidekick Barf (Candy) to rescue the princess. They agree to the rescue mission but want a large amount of money for the job (they owe money to the dreaded Pizza the Hut). Adding to the confusion is Yogurt (also Brooks): the wise keeper of the Schwartz, and the crew of Spaceballs 1: most notably Col. Sandurz (Wyner) the slightly intelligent commander of the ship and the Radar Technician (Michael Winslow) and his impersonations of the sounds on the ship.

All the characters (if you can keep track of them) are comic clones of the Star Wars characters: Lone Star is Luke Skywalker and Han Solo mashed together, Barf ("I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!") is the replacement for Chewbacca the wookie, Dark Helmet is Darth Vader, Vespa is obviously Leia, Yogurt is Yoda, and Dot Matrix is C3PO.

Some of the jokes are funny and dead on such the merchandise for Spaceballs (ironically when George Lucas agreed to let this film parody Star Wars he didn't want them to sell anything...so the merchandise only appears in the film, and they are Transformers items with Spaceballs logos pasted on them, lol). There are alot of visual gags, the best is Pizza the Hut: the bad guy who is made of pizza, the cheese and toppings melt/slide down his body but he is still a bad dude, but the scene with Dark Helmets dolls is a close second. But most of the jokes involved characters with "funny" names (Prince Valium...who looks half-asleep) or old, over-used jokes. Don't get me wrong, you will laugh but this isn't the cutting edge comedy just this side of inappropriate that you expect from Mel Brooks...sigh...

Dude it's quotable: the plot isn't the greatest, but the sight gags and little one-liners will (hopefully) satisfy you...and if not, the quotes can be pretty funny taken out of context!
Rent it once: if you like Star Wars and can take a joke then enjoy...Mel Brooks, John Candy, and Rick Moranis in a film, whoa...you need to see it (just once so you can say you've seen it!) This film is more fun to talk about than actually watch

Spaceballs (1987) 96 min
Rating: PG
Director: Mel Brooks
Starring: Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet
Bill Pullman as Lone Starr
John Candy as Barf
Daphne Zuniga as Princess Vespa
Mel Brooks as President Skroob/Yogurt
George Wyner as Colonel Sandurz
Joan Rivers as Dot Matrix (the voice)
Dick Van Patten as King Roland

Robin Hood: Men in Tights

"And why would the people listen to you?"

"Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent."

According to the tagline "The legend had it coming"...that may be true, but Mel Brooks could have done better. Having seen a good number of Robin Hood films, cartoons, etc. I can see the humor in this film (and tolerate it) but it isn't GREAT...it could be good...i'm not sure yet

Piggy-backing the film "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" (which is tolerable b/c it has Christian Slater...sigh...anyway) Brooks attacks the former along with other Robin Hood films (such as the 1938 Errol Flynn film "The Adventures of Robin Hood"). The film opens with Robin Hood (Elwes) in jail during the Crusades. He manages to escape (and helps the rest of the prisoners escape as well) with the help of a man named Ahsneeze (Isaac Hayes). Ahsneeze's son is an exchange student in England, so he asks Robin Hood to keep him out of trouble. Robin Hood swims home to England (don't ask) and immediately meets Ahchoo (Chappelle..who is brilliant) the son of Ahsneeze. Together they fight off the bad guys and seek Robin's home. They arrive in time to watch his families castle being towed away b/c they haven't paid their taxes.

Thankfully the families blind servant Blinkin (Blankfield) is in the basement of the castle (which is not towed away) so he is able to aid Robin who learns that everything/one he had is gone: father dead, mother died of pneumonia, brothers killed by the plague, dog run over, fish eaten by the cat, cat choked on the fish. The three men come to a bridge, but to cross they must pay a toll (so the people can eat rolls...yes its corny). Even though they could just jump the little creek (which Ahchoo points out) Robin agrees to fight the man guarding the bridge. Predictably Robin wins and asks the guard, Little John ("I'm really big") and his friend Will Scarlet ("Scarlet's my middle name. My last name's O'Hara, we're from Georgia") to join their group. Together these five men wear tights and agree to take on the tyrannous rein of Prince John (Lewis), the brother of the real king. The first confrontation between Robin and Prince John looks exactly like "The Adventures of Robin Hood", which makes it funnier than it should be: it is a banquet. At the banquet Robin meets his arch foe the Sheriff of Rotingham (Rees...the funniest character in the film) and the woman of his dreams Maid Marian (Yasbeck...she is horrible!!) who has a secret (a chastity belt). The only other characters worth mentioning are Latrine (Ullman): Prince John's witch who has the hots for the Sheriff, and Rabbi Tuckman (Brooks): the Jewish Rabbi who gives them sacramental wine and offers to give them circumcisions (with a mini-guillotine).

Overall this film is bad...it's not as funny as it's predecessors (other films by Brooks), but there are funny moments in the film (if you can stomach the corny-ness and Yasbeck's performance). The worst portions of the film are the things Brooks added which have nothing to do with the story (Dom DeLuise is Don Giovanni...trying to channel Marlon Brandon's Godfather character...along with his two worthless cronies)

Wait till it comes to TV: even though I own it, it's not really worth paying to see
--: The quotes are funny...and some of the deliveries are funny (a lot of it is off-color, but there are some genuninely funny moments...)

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993) 104 min
Rating: PG-13 for off-color humor
Director: Mel Brooks
Starring: Cary Elwes as Robin Hood
Richard Lewis as Prince John
Roger Rees as the Sheriff of Rotingham
Mark Blankfield as Blinkin
Amy Yasbeck as Maid Marian
Dave Chappelle as Ahchoo
Matthew Porretta as Will Scarlet (O'Hara)
Eric Allan Kramer as Little John
Tracey Ullman as Latrine
Mel Brooks as Rabbi Tuckman

Dracula: Dead and Loving It

"She's Nosferatu."

"She's Italian?"

O Mel Brooks, sigh...WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??? What a complete waste of film. In theory, making a parody of Dracula is an excellent idea...especially for someone as gifted as Mel Brooks (and especially after his AMAZING rendition of the Frankenstein legend, "Young Frankenstein") BUT somehow something went wrong. The funniest line I have listed above...Nosferatu was the first Dracula film to be made. It was a silent film, and it is slightly different from the novel b/c the director did not have permission to adapt Dracula (and it's German, lol)

I admit I've never read "Dracula", but having seen the 1930s version with Bela Lugosi and knowing what makes a good comedy I feel like I can discuss this film. Leslie Nielsen was a good choice for Dracula: he's over the top but that would work for this film. But anyway, it is the usual Dracula story: Renfield (MacNicol) goes to Transylvania since he has a meeting with the infamous Count Dracula (Nielsen). When he arrives in town he tells the townsfolk, "Yes, I'm schh-eduled to meet Count Dracula" and they respond with the typical mixture of shock and horror, but also mock Renfield "...Schh-eduled?" Despite the warnings he goes to the castle and meets Dracula...and becomes his servant/slave/whatever. They travel to England where Dracula plagues the locals. Renfield is thought to be insane and is sent to Dr. Seward (Korman...hillarious as usual) who locks him up and continually prescribes enemas to cure Renfield. Dracula encounters Dr. Seward's "family" (i'm not really sure how they all fit together since it's been awhile since i've forced myself to watch this film) at the opera and is smitten by Lucy (Anthony) and Mina (Yasbeck). He fixates on Mina to become his bride, but is impeded by her fiance Jonathan (Weber) and the arrival of Van Helsing (Brooks).

Some of the jokes COULD be considered funny but it is all the same humor: sexual, mocking the absurd accents, or gory scenes. It had such potential....but sadly Brooks managed to screw it up. If you like Mel Brooks early films don't see this, you will be incredibly upset/ashamed...and if you like Dracula/vampire films...again don't watch....

If you watch this film you will be mocked for life: I think that explains it all...
Don't waste your money: If you ignore my advice, then wait for it to come on TV so you don't have to pay for this film. Ok, i'm being harsh. Some parts are funny but a few scenes don't make up for the lack of quality of the rest of the film.

Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995) 88 min
Rating: PG-13 for "comic" sensuality and gore
Director: Mel Brooks
Starring: Leslie Nielsen as Count Dracula
Peter MacNicol as Renfield
Steven Weber as Jonathan
Amy Yasbeck as Mina
Mel Brooks as Dr. Abraham Van Helsing
Lysette Anthony as Lucy
Harvey Korman as Dr. Jack Seward