Transformers

"You know what I don't understand?"
"What?"
"If he's like, this super-advanced robot, why does he transform into this piece-of-crap Camaro?"

Good, Autobots, and bad, Decepticons, alien robots have crashed to earth. They transform into vehicles to blend in and wait for the right moment to reveal themselves. The Decepticons attack a U.S. military base in the Middle East and hack the military network. The team at the base, led by Captain Lennox (Duhamel) and Tech Sergeant Epps (Gibson) barely escape.

Not knowing who caused the attack Defense Secretary Keller (Voight) gathers the best computer techs to analyze the signal. Meanwhile, high school student Sam (LaBeouf) buys his first car, a beat-up yellow Camaro and tries to catch the eye of Mikaela (Fox) a popular girl from school. Sam soon discovers his car, named Bumblebee, is actually a robot. As Bumblebee's comrads, the Autobots, arrive they tell a stunned Sam and Mikaela about their past and the reason they are on earth (they are looking for the All Spark, which the Decepticons also seek).

All the humans involved: the military team who encountered the Decepticons, Defense Secretary Keller, Maggie (Taylor) and Glen (Anderson) the computer techs know the signal isn't human, Sam, and Mikaela; are rounded up by the mysterious Agent Simmons (Turturro) who knows more than he lets on. Meanwhile, the Autobots and Decepticons know the location of both the All Spark and the Decepticon leader Megatron (who has been missing for over a century), and prepare for battle.


As someone who watched the television show (in it's various forms), I was not anxious to see this film....I wasn't sure who they would make it work, but the Transformers are impressive. Some of the actors from the television show voice the same character(s) in the film, including Autobot leader Optimus Prime. The look of the Transformers is impressive. You can see the pieces of the car when they are in robot mode, and just look cool. Overall, there is a bit too much going on in the film. It starts well, with Optimus Prime explaining the destruction of their war and why they are on earth, and the initial confrontation between the military and Decepticon is pretty impressive. Then it goes a bit downhill.

There are too many human characters, although they each plan a part in the story, some parts could be cut down, such as the computer techs....did we really need to see so much of them? Then there is the final battle...honestly, it was hard to tell some of the Transformers apart (some have similar colors), and it was too long. Also, why would Captain Lennox suggest going into a city? Wouldn't you want to go somewhere with more open space and minimal possibility for human casualties? It was enjoyable for mindless entertainment, lots of explosions and such, but a bit too long.

Rent it: it was made by non fans, so newcomers will be able to follow it, and fans will be able to distinguish the changes filmmakers made to different characters.

Transformers (2007) 144 minutes
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, brief sexual humor, and language.
Director: Michael Bay
Starring: Shia LaBeouf as Sam Witwicky
Megan Fox as Mikaela
Josh Duhamel as Captain Lennox
Tyrese Gibson as Tech Sergeant Epps
Rachel Taylor as Maggie
Anthony Anderson as Glen
Jon Voight as Defense Secretary John Keller
John Turturro as Agent Simmons

300

"A thousand nations of the Persian empire descend upon you. Our arrows will blot out the sun!"
"Then we will fight in the shade."

When his kingdom is threatened by the Persians, King Leonidas (Butler) kills the messenger (literally) and takes matters into his own hands. Despite opposition from the council, Leonidas recruits the 300 best soldiers from Sparta. Knowing the terrain they force the massive army of Persia into a tight situation, allowing the Spartans to have the upper hand despite the millions of Persians they face (and their various "monsters"). Also on hand is Xeres (Santoro) king / god of Persia trying to get the Spartans to surrender, but he underestimates the spirit of the men who are up to the challenge and even find time to joke during/after battle.

While the 300 Spartans (and friends from Athens) face death, Queen Gorgo (Headey) faces her own battle at home as she takes on Theron (West) who controls the council and is against Leonidas and the war with Persia.


Not for the faint of heart...there is lots of blood and death (apparently there are 585 deaths in the film), at times the blood even splatters on the screen. The film is based on the graphic novel of the same name by Frank Miller (who also wrote "Sin City"), and is visually stunning. The backgrounds and some of the battles look like they came straight out of a graphic novel (which is the look the filmmakers are trying to achieve). The battle sequences are impressive, if you can handle the carnage, and are broken up by the banter between Stelios (Fassbender) and Astinos (Wisdom). Besides the blood and violence, the film also features gratuitous nudity/sex (which isn't surprising considering this is a Frank Miller story). The story is good, and makes the most of the narration by Dilios (Wenham) who is telling the story to his troops at the end of the film. Xeres and his Persians are disgusting...and the Spartan men are ripped. I enjoyed parts of the film, and can appreciate it for what it is, but the battle scenes get long and I found myself looking at the time and hoping the whole thing would end soon. The nudity is completely unnecessary and the random sex scene between the king and queen stops the action/story. I can not recommend this film, although I do recommend Gerard Butler (he is a beautiful man).

300 (2007) 117 minutes
Rating: R for graphic battle sequences throughout, some sexuality and nudity.
Director: Zack Snyder
Starring: Gerard Butler as King Leonidas
Lena Headey as Queen Gorgo
Dominic West as Theron
David Wenham as Dilios
Vincent Regan as Captain
Michael Fassbender as Stelios
Tom Wisdom as Astinos
Andrew Plavin as Daxos
Andrew Tiernan as Ephialtes
Rodrigo Santoro as Xeres

Definitely, Maybe

"Fine, I'm gonna tell you the story, but I'm not telling you who your mom is."
"Fine!"
"You're just gonna have to figure it out for yourself."
"Good!"
"And I'm changing all of the names, and some of the facts. I just decided that right now. Then we'll see how smart you are."
"I like it, it's like a love story mystery."

After Maya's (Breslin) class has the sex talk at school, she asks her father Will (Reynolds) to tell her about his dating life / how he met her mother. His answer "it's complicated," doesn't work... so eventually he gives in, but (as the discussion/quote above suggests) makes a few changes to see if she (and the audience) can figure out who he married.

The three candidates are Emily (Banks), April (Fisher), and Summer (Weisz). Emily was his blonde, college sweetheart who he leaves in Wisconsin. He gets a job in New York for the Clinton campaign (it is the 1990's), moving through the ranks. April, the redhead, is the copy girl at the campaign who isn't a democrat and enjoys arguing / challenging Will. Summer, the brunette, is an old friend of Emily who is now a writing student and dating her much older professor Hampton Roth (Kline). Each woman is confident, attractive, and for a time unattainable (for various reasons). As he tells the story Will continues to weave his life and struggles with the relationships, at times revealing more than he planned (like the fact that he smokes).


I assumed this film would be like most chick flicks where you know within the first few scenes who will be together at the end...but while I had guesses, I was ultimately wrong. With every story, every encounter with the women Will seems to give away the answer, and like Maya you think you know who it is, and then he makes a mistake and messes up the relationship and you are confused. He doesn't always do or say the right thing...he messes up relationships (not the usual dribble found in these kinds of films), he hits the bottom and loses his way. I was comfortable not knowing the outcome, and the fact that he questioned his decisions (and job choices)...especially as someone who is still trying to figure that out. Ryan Reynolds is a charismatic leading man, able to carry the film. It is easy to see why these three women are in his life, and why his daughter loves him (and is able to ask such a difficult question). And I was pleasantly surprised by the women as well. Overall the film was much better than I imagined, more realistic while still giving you a hint of a fairy tale.

Rent it: it's not the typical chick flick...totally worthwhile
--: Will is very candid about his life (they swear, talk about sex, etc), without being obnoxious and too talky

Definitely, Maybe (2008) 112 minutes
Rating: PG-13 for sexual content, including some frank dialogue, language and smoking.
Director: Adam Brooks
Starring: Ryan Reynolds as Will Hayes
Abigail Breslin as Maya Hayes
Elizabeth Banks as Emily
Isla Fisher as April
Rachel Weisz as Summer
Kevin Kline as Hampton Roth

My Top Disney Films #5

The Rescuers

"We gotta find her and help her."
"Yeah, but two little mice! Wha - what can you do?"

The Rescue Aid Society, a mouse United Nations, finds a bottle with a message from a girl named Penny (Stacy). Miss Bianca (Gabor) an adventurous mouse, wants the case, but as the first woman to get a rescue assignment, she gets to pick a co-agent. She chooses Bernard (Newhart), the superstitious janitor. Together they learn that Penny was an orphan and the police believed she had run away months ago. She was kidnapped by the sleazy Medusa (Page) and her idiotic partner Mr. Snoops (Flynn) to find a priceless diamond.

The mice catch a ride with albatross Orville (Jordan) and team up with a group of feisty swamp folks to rescue Penny from the Devil's Bayou.

**Reason I chose this film: (at the end of this review)

The Rescuers (1977) 78 minutes
Director: John Lounsbery, Wolfgang Reitherman, Art Stevens
Starring: Bob Newhart as Bernard
Eva Gabor as Miss Bianca
Geraldine Page as Madame Medusa
Joe Flynn as Mr. Snoops
Jim Jordan as Orville
Michelle Stacy as Penny

The Rescuers Down Under

"Joanna! You been diggin' holes out here again? Darn lizard's always trying to bury squirrels out here."
"Uh-uh. It's a trap, and poaching's against the law."
"Trap? Where'd you get an idea like that, boy? I think you've been down in that hole too long."

Cody (Ryen) frees trapped animals. During one mission he saves the Great Golden Eagle, and is rewarded with a feather. When he tries to save a mouse, he falls into a poacher's trap (see the above quote), set by the notorious poacher McLeach (Scott). McLeach takes Cody and sets off to find the Great Golden Eagle.
Meanwhile, in the states, the Rescue Aid Society decides to send Bernard (Newhart) and Bianca (Gabor) to rescue Cody. They talk Orville's brother Wilbur (Candy) into flying them to Australia where they team up with Jake (Rogers) who serves as their tour guide. Will the mice, and injured Wilbur save Cody and his eagle(s)?

The Rescuers Down Under (1990) minutes
Director: Hendel Butoy and Mike Gabriel
Starring: Bob Newhart as Bernard
Eva Gabor as Miss Bianca
John Candy as Wilbur
Tristan Rogers as Jake
Adam Ryen as Cody
George C. Scott as McLeach

**Reason I chose these films:
I always loved both films. I liked the original...the Swamp Posse and all that, although Brutus and Nero were creepy. The songs were good, even if it was the same person singing (and never seen), the opening sequence is pretty cool.

When the sequel came out my family saw it in theatres, and since that point I have always enjoyed watching it...because my brother was scared to death of McLeach. I used to watch this film to torture him, but overtime I realized that I really enjoyed this film as well. I prefer Wilbur to Orville (it's John Candy, what is there to not love?), and there is something to be said for the crazy animals in the sequel. It is hard to separate the two in my mind, and therefore they had to be one review.

Accepted

"It was your idea to put "acceptance is just one click away""
"Yeah put it as "one click away" but you don't make it clickable!"

After being rejected by 8 colleges, Bartleby "B" (Long) is frustrated. His parents are disappointed, and won't accept his idea to start working...so with a little help from his friends, he creates a college South Harmon Institute of Technology (think about the acronym for a bit). His best friend Sherman (Hill), who got into Harmon College, creates a parent-friendly website to make the school look legitimate. They find an abandoned mental health institution with help from overachiever Rory (Thayer) and fix up a few rooms to present to the parents. They get Sherman's off-color uncle Ben (Black) to pose as their dean.

Sherman is the only friend who was accepted to a legitimate school, so Hands (Short) who lost his sports scholarship due to injury, Glen (Herschman) who got a zero on his S.A.T.'s, Rory, and B prepare for a semester of slacking and potentially trying to get into a real college... There dreams are put on hold when other locals show up for "orientation" (see the above quote for the reason). All of the South Harmon students were rejected everywhere else they applied, so B uses the opportunity to allow everyone to study whatever they want...they pick and teach various classes like "how to blow up stuff with my mind" and other entertaining names for classes. B also tries to steal the gal of his dreams, Monica (Lively) from the jerk she is currently dating (who is the student body president, and involved in the frat Sherman wants to join). And South Harmon is in the way of Harmon Dean Richard Van Horne's (Richard Heald) construction path. Ciaos ensues.


I didn't have high expectations for this film. While I enjoy (and own) Animal House, I tend to be disappointed / disgusted with most college films. However, I actually enjoyed this film. Justin Long was o.k. in the title role, but he is better at the awkward, nerdy kid (like in Dodgeball)... and his family never really fit, otherwise, everyone else was entertaining. The main characters held their own, and the other South Harmon students were quirky and memorable. I don't plan to give anything away, but the ending is somewhat plausible...unlike other films in this genre. Yes, it is predictable, but most blockbuster films are. You either embrace them for what they are (mindless entertainment) or stop watching them. Overall, decent film.

Accepted (2006) 90 minutes
Rating: PG-13 for language, sexual material and drug content.
Director: Steve Pink
Starring: Justin Long as Bartleby Gaines
Jonah Hill as Sherman Schrader
Adam Herschman as Glen
Columbus Short as Hands Holloway
Maria Thayer as Rory Thayer
Lewis Black as Ben Lewis
Blake Lively as Monica

Waiting for Guffman

"There's a saying in Missouri, if you don't like the weather just wait five minutes. In Blaine, with hard work, I think we can get that down to three or four minutes."

Blaine, Missouri is the stool capital of the world...and also the sight of a UFO landing, the crater left behind is always 67 degrees with a 40% chance of rain. A town rich in history, with it's 150th anniversary approaching. The town leaders agree to let a "professional" director, Corky St. Clair (Guest) write a play depicting the history of the town as part of their anniversary, much to the chagrin of the music teacher Lloyd Miller (Bob Balaban) who tends to direct the school shows. Corky's vision clashes with Lloyd's, but somehow they manage to work together.

The cast includes travel agents Ron (Willard) and Sheila (O'Hara) Albertson who have starred in previous shows for Corky, Dairy Queen employee Libby (Posey) who has a crush on Corky, and dentist Dr. Allan Pearl (Levy) who enjoys making people laugh. Corky also gets Clifford Wooley (Arquette) to be the narrator and mechanic Johnny (Keeslar) to round out the cast.

While working on the play, they are told a New York producer named Guffman will be attending their production. Opening night Johnny quits, so Corky takes over.

The play chronicles Blaine's conception when a man named Blaine got a wagon train lost and they became a town...to the legendary stool given to the president...to the UFO landing.


The show itself is painfully funny (funny because it is painful), including the opening scene when Dr. Pearl doesn't wear his glasses (which are not from the period). While I prefer Best in Show and Spinal Tap (which he wrote and co-starred in), this film is a good introduction to Guest's style of filmmaking. It is also interesting to see Guest in a starring role, since in his other films he has smaller roles...I don't think anyone could pull it off better, although I do miss his Spinal Tap/Folksmen buddies, Harry Shearer and Michael McKean (who wrote the songs for the play). Funny, and worthwhile, although some of his other films stand the test of time better.

Waiting for Guffman (1996) 84 minutes
Rating: R for brief strong language.
Director: Christopher Guest
Starring: Christopher Guest as Corky St. Clair
Eugene Levy as Dr. Allan Pearl
Fred Willard as Ron Albertson
Catherine O'Hara as Sheila Albertson
Parker Posey as Libby Mae Brown
Linda Kash as Mrs. Allan Pearl
Lewis Arquette as Clifford Wooley
Matt Keeslar as Johnny Savage

Baby Mama

" Bitch, I don't know your life!"

Kate (Fey) is successful, vice president for her company with a cushy apartment, but all she wants is to start a family. With her biological clock ticking, she tries various options to no avail. With no where else to turn, she decides to find a surrogate to carry her child. She is paired with Angie (Poehler) who is a bit rough around the edges. Angie is having relationship issues with her common law husband Carl (Shepard), and moves in with Kate. Together, they attend birthing classes and prepare the house for the baby.

While looking for a location for her boss Barry's (Martin) new store location, she meets Rob (Kinnear) who runs a smoothie store...which is similar to Jamba Juice, but he is fighting against them. They start a relationship, and Angie gets the doorman Oscar (Malco) to help her practice giving birth and fixing things in the apartment.


While looking for a picture for this post, I was reading other reviews...and apparently a lot of people weren't impressed. I'm not really sure what they were thinking. Tina Fey does neurotic well, and you sympathize with her character. She proves this on a weekly basis with 30 Rock, and her work on SNL. Amy Poehler, also an SNL alum, takes her character through a range of emotions and consistently delivers laughs. The rest of the cast is o.k. Steve Martin's Barry is over-the-top, but still funny. The weakest characters are Sigourney Weaver's Chaffee (unnecessary and just weird), and Dax Shepard's Carl (slime ball). Overall it was a funny movie, but it could have been better.

Baby Mama (2008) 99 minutes
Rating: PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, language and a drug reference
Director: Michael McCullers
Starring: Amy Poehler as Angie Ostrowiski
Tina Fey as Kate Holbrook
Greg Kinnear as Rob Ackerman
Dax Shepard as Carl Loomis
Romany Malco as Oscar
Sigourney Weaver as Chaffee Bicknell
Steve Martin as Barry

Best in Show

"Am I nuts? Something's wrong with his feet."
"I never thought I'd find myself saying this, but you're right."
"He's got two left feet."

Philadelphia has gone to the dogs. Every year, the locals prepare for the Mayflower Dog Show...the hotel breaks out the cleaning supplies for their special guests and the organizers brace for dog-fever to hit.
Five contestants are interviewed, documentary style, throughout the competition. From the backwoods is Harlan Pepper (Guest) and his Bloodhound Hubert. Harlan is a fishing enthusiast and aspiring ventriloquist...and believes Hubert can occasionally talk. Then there are the Fleck's, and their Terrier Winky. Gerry (Levy) was born with two left feet and isn't really involved with the dog show, and his wife Cookie (O'Hara) who loves Winky and being the center of attention, and has a bit of a past (she had hundreds of boyfriends, who she doesn't really remember, but keeps running into). Next are the Swan's and their moody Weimaraner Beatrice. Hamilton (Hitchcock) and Meg (Posey) met at Starbucks (they were at Starbucks across the street from each other) and have memorized upscale clothing catalogs, like J Crew, but are incredibly stressed...and snap at each other. Then there is the gay couple and their Shih Tzu, Agnes. Scott Donlan (Higgins) is the flamboyant trainer, and Stefan Vanderhoof (McKean) is his reasonable partner. They enjoy dressing Agnes and their own dog as characters from movies. And finally there is the reigning champion, poodle Rhapsody in White. Rhapsody in White is owned by wealthy socialite Sherri Ann Cabot (Coolidge) who is married to a much older man, and the trainer Christy Cummings (Lynch), who have an interesting relationship...


Director Christopher Guest specializes in mockumentaries: fake documentaries. I only ever watch the televised dog shows when I can't find the TV remote on Thanksgiving after the parades. But pet owners tend to be fascinating...and this film does not disappoint! John Michael Higgins steals the show as Scott, but the whole cast is incredible. There are many laugh out loud moments.

Best in Show (2000) 90 minutes
Rating:PG-13 for language and sex-related material.
Director: Christopher Guest
Starring: Jennifer Coolidge as Sherri Ann Cabot
Christopher Guest as Harlan Pepper
John Michael Higgins as Scott Donlan
Michael Hitchcock as Hamilton Swan
Eugene Levy as Gerry Fleck
Jane Lynch as Christy Cummings
Michael McKean as Stefan Vanderhoof
Catherine O'Hara as Cookie Fleck
Parker Posey as Meg Swan