Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

"Revenge doesn't change the past. It won't bring our parents back. But it sure as hell feels good."

As children Hansel (Renner) and Gretel (Arterton) are captured by a witch, who they manage to kill.  Their parents are gone, so they begin hunting and destroying witches.  Fifteen years later they are well-known witch hunters.  They are called to the town of Augsburg to deal with a witch problem.

Several children have been taken from the town by witches.  Sheriff Berringer (Stormare) wants to whip the town into a frenzy and dispense his own brand of justice, but he is stopped by the siblings.  As they begin hunting the witches they are helped by super fan Ben (Mann) and accused witch Mina (Vitala).  They learn that the witches, led by Muriel (Janssen), are planning something big for the approaching Blood Moon.  Can they defeat the witches and learn the truth about their past?


Another attempt to give childhood characters a new, grittier story.  The story of Hansel and Gretel is a well-known fairy tale, made popular by the Grimm Brothers in the 1800s, but it was around long before then.  The story is still well-known, and has been featured in countless films, plays, books, and TV shows since then.  I starred as Gretel in a musical version of the story, while I was in elementary school.

The writers started with a good idea: that Hansel and Gretel's experience with the witch effected their future and turned them into famous witch hunters.  I can get behind that idea.  They imagined further consequences, like Hansel having long-term health consequences from eating the sweets, in this case diabetes (although the film never calls it that).  I wish they had stuck with the original idea regarding Gretel, that she developed an eating disorder, bulimia, from the time.  It makes sense that both would be scarred from the experience, and those make the most sense.

However, the movie as a whole was a bit of a disaster.  There is a large amount of gore and unnecessary plot developments.  Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton were good choices, and infuse the characters with a strong amount of intensity.  They do well with the action sequences.  Peter Stormare is always a good choice for a smarmy character.  Famke Janssen is also good in her role.

Apparently the film was popular enough for Paramount to greenlight a sequel.  I don't plan to see the sequel, and was not impressed with the film.  It is ok, and clearly there is an audience for this film, but it isn't for me.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) 88 minutes
Rating: R for strong fantasy horror violence and gore, brief sexuality/nudity and language
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Starring: Jeremy Renner as Hansel
Gemma Arterton as Gretel
Famke Janssen as Muriel
Pihla Viitala as Mina
Thomas Mann as Ben
Derek Mears as Edward
Robin Atkin Downes as Edward (voice)
Peter Stormare as Sheriff Berringer